What should I do so that people around me do not despise me?

What is the fear of humiliation?

How much of a perfectionist do you consider yourself to be? Probably a lot. But have you ever noticed what is behind the curtain of this perfectionism? If you are like most people, your answer is no. But what do you find if you look closely at perfectionism? You will discover that the perfectionism of the accepted child is an unconscious feeling called the fear of inferiority. Because perfectionism is socially accepted as a positive trait, we evaluate its existence in ourselves. But in strict perfectionism, it is the fear of inferiority that secretly takes control of one’s actions. Therefore, even if perfectionism is accepted, it imposes a pattern of stressful behaviors on us, which in turn causes procrastination and self-destruction.


How does the fear of humiliation affect us?

In fact, fear leads to anxiety and anxiety in turn leads to the production of a group of unfavorable physical and psychological conditions such as alcoholism, substance abuse and depression. When we are afraid of not being perfect, we face problems with self-discipline because we unconsciously send ourselves the message that: “my effort may seem incomplete or even low-level”, so it is better to put in a lot of effort. do not spend At the same time, while unconsciously sending this negative message to ourselves, we face the fact that perfection is not possible. So our self-discipline has been damaged before we can act.

As a result, regardless of the task at hand, we have to fight with ourselves in every step we want to take to improve self-discipline. “If I don’t do what I’m assigned to do perfectly, then it’s better not to do it at all”, this internal battle and struggle will overshadow any effort and practice of self-discipline, and until the unconscious fear of Replace contempt with the realistic and logical view that pursuing perfectionism is like seeking eternal life, and it is a mission impossible. My advice is to do something quickly so that your self-esteem is not based on perfectionism.

What are the symptoms of feeling inferior?

It is necessary for a person to know his symptoms in order to take treatment.

  • Social isolation
  • Inability to communicate with others
  • Fear of judging others
  • Worrying about your appearance, success and character
  • Finding flaws in yourself
  • Ignoring your abilities and successes
  • Magnifying the lives and successes of others
  • Performance anxiety
  • Need extreme attention from others
  • Hypersensitivity and irritability

What is the feeling of inferiority?

Psychologists believe that negative experiences in childhood are very important in feeling low self-esteem or inferiority complex. Some of the factors that cause feelings of inferiority and self-deprecation in adulthood and childhood are:

  • Early bad experiences: childhood punishments, parental neglect or sexual abuse, or school-age punishments are very important. Children with these types of experiences often believe that they are bad and deserve to be punished.
  • Unrealistic parental standards and expectations: Children with this type of parenting constantly feel that they are not good enough because they have failed to meet the expectations of others. Narcissistic parents have children with a sense of inner inferiority and low self-esteem. Because their children can never fulfill their parents’ wishes.
  • Inappropriate behaviors of peers: causes children to feel inferior and low self-esteem. Especially during adolescence, when adolescent identity is formed. Being different from peers causes ridicule, and this issue can create a sense of inferiority and low self-esteem in a teenager, which continues into adulthood.
  • Excessive praise : Parents who constantly use verbal encouragement or rewards to control their child’s behavior are conditioning their child. When the child enters the society, he feels that he should receive encouragement and praise all the time, and when the environment does not provide these conditions, it makes him feel that there is something missing in him that he needs to change, and that he is not good enough for the environment. Does not praise or reward.

Methods of reducing and treating the fear of humiliation

If you see the mentioned signs in yourself, it is time to eliminate this problem by using a series of simple treatment methods and you can play your role in society better.

Forgetting the past

One of the problems in this field is the person’s past. In fact, past traumas and injuries can lead to severe problems and also increase this feeling in you, and the first step to healing is to forget the past and try to deal with your memories. Accepting the past can help you live a better life in the future.

Kindness to yourself

For people who have this feeling, it’s a little hard to be kind to yourself and you have to accept that you can’t do anything about the past, so you need to create a better future for yourself.

Communicate with others

Try to connect more with people who make you feel good because these people know what they like in this life and their purpose makes them live a better life and it can help you too. help.

say no

Try to learn to say no to what other people want from you. Saying no can be very good for you and it is necessary to take care of yourself and you can remove this feeling of inferiority to some extent.

Being decisive in work

Another thing you should do in this field is to be decisive in your work and try not to be afraid of your mistakes and failures so that you can put aside the fear of humiliation. Try to increase your self-confidence otherwise you will not be able to overcome this fear.

Identify abilities

Try to put aside the fear of humiliation by knowing yourself and your abilities better and try to live a better life. In fact, it is enough to take a piece of paper and write down everything you like and what you are capable of so that you can realize your abilities.

talking to yourself

Try to have short conversations with yourself during the day and use very positive and good sentences in the meantime to get a lot of energy and do your work better.

Let go of expectations

We all have a series of unreasonable expectations from ourselves, and this is one of the most important reasons for feeling inferior. Do not ask yourself that it does not come.

self encouragement

One of the best ways to overcome the fear of humiliation is to encourage yourself in a series of tasks. In fact, this can be very good for you and will make you do other things with more courage and courage.

Do not compare

It may be interesting to know that not comparing yourself with others can help you to get rid of this sensitivity. Always comparing your life with others is not the right thing to do and in many situations it can be very hurtful. There are many people whose life looks very good but their insides are broken and you are their insides. You can’t see, so it’s better not to compare the inside of your life with the outside of other people’s lives.

Seeking help from a psychotherapist

Getting help from a familiar person in this field can allow you to face all your fears and realize that this problem you have created for yourself is not so big. One of the methods that the psychotherapist suggests to you is group therapy in which a safe environment is created so that you can overcome your worthlessness, and another method is to use CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy. In this method, the therapist will find all your fears and correct them so that you can cope with the feeling of inferiority and not be afraid of it.

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